Everytime I try

[There are days when you feel like writing. Something. Just about anything. But you still fall short of words. Thank you 3ww for those lovely prompts as always:) ]

Every time I try to tell myself,

Make a vain attempt at convincing myself

That I need to move on

And you're so long gone.

When I want to be rude to you,

To make sure you get your due

For having been so mean

And making me feel so lean;

You come up with another reason so filthy

Yet it makes me feel that you're guilty;

And I remember all the good that you have done,

Such that I evade another line of pun.

My heart melts,

I remove my tight buckled belts

And come back to you

To be your friend, to guide you

'Cause I feel

The wounds you have given, I can still heal

But the sacrifices you made

From my heart can never fade...

As cold as a wedge, I wonder how long this will continue

And if the good old you will ever renew!

Written for Three Word Wednesday; 3ww: buckle, evade, wedge and #112 Monday Poetry Train Revisited

The Year That Was -- 2010

What a year it has been! It started off on a happy note. And 5 days to go. It's still continuing. After a not-so-happy 2009, it was indeed a refreshingly welcome one. The one important lesson I learnt this year: You have to learn to find happiness within you. Only that form of happiness is permanent. All others are transitory. It will come, it will go.

Having learnt that, this has been one hell of a year. The year began with an awesome win at Aurangabad where all the hard work paid off. I had the two coolest moot partners in Shruti and Apoorva. And for Preeti's help with the preparations, just a thank you would never be sufficient. February saw me home for my cousin's wedding and as is always the story, a grand family reunion: three generations of the family getting together is never short of awesomeness. This was no different! March was MAD with Bangalore as I attended the Make a Difference National Conference, where I met the MADdies from all over and new friendship bonds were forged. April brought with it my 21st birthday and one of the best so far. Here's a peek! Internship time knocked the doors in May and it took me to Bombay and a month long stay at Rhea's. That insane night, courtesy, Rhea, Gauri, Hansika, Alvir, ... happened and will remain one of the best in memory! Work too couldn't have been more fun, thanks to my super-cool co-interns! June was summer time with school friends and a reunion planned. Meeting most of them after 6 years and I realised how time had passed. July to September rushed and before it even dawned on me, a Semester was over. October saw me home and November was one crazy month in Delhi. Two weeks in Pune this December and I am home for Christmas and New Years after two years in college and away. And as I am writing this, my friend just called to say that me she's planning another reunion on the 31st.

This is what I call an eventful year. Adieu 2010. Happy New Year, folks! :D

Irony

I am sure all of you have heard this. It's certainly not my original. But it's also something I couldn't stop thinking about after I came across it ...

"Finish and Complete are synonyms. Used in place of one another. However, while the right man will complete you, a wrong man may finish you!"

Ironical, how true it is?

The letter

“Dear X,

Here, I sit down under the moonlight, knowing that no matter how hard I try, I will never be able to forget you. It reminds me of the times when we would sit together and capture the essence of beauty at nightfall. Those arms of safety. Those eyes that never judged me. I miss. I smile silently to myself thinking of the time that has passed.”

Suddenly I heard a baby wail. I came back to where I was. I stopped writing. My six month old grand daughter had woken up. I needed to go. I kept to complete the letter for another day…

Written for Three Word Wednesday, 3ww: judge, nightfall, safety and Room for Romance#9

What I learnt today

I am impulsive. I have always been. I act without thought. Careful thought. That explains why I have stilettos' of the same kind in exactly the same colour maybe with a little difference in their heels, jeans of the same shade of the same brand of the same fit simultaneously bought with a difference so slight no one would ever notice, slippers which I bought together at one go and which I never wore, t-shirts of exactly the same kind in three different colours, not to forget the things I picked up from here and there which did not even find its way to my cupboard and oh! yes, this list could just go on. Endless. Ask my mum to start a lecture on how impulsive I am and if you knew her even a little, you’d wonder if you have ever seen her talk so much. That was on a lighter side. Looking back, acting impulsive always has definitely not been the best. There are many things which I would have loved to end or turn out a little differently! But that’s how it is. You learn. There have been these small instances where my impulsive-ness was tested but then my “That’s how I am!” attitude didn’t help me either. Starting my blog was impulsive, but then it taught me a big lesson. Today I will tell you how.

Sometimes I have so much to write. Sometimes so little. I wondered why. To write isn’t difficult. I thought. Then I rephrased. To think and write is difficult. When I write, I read it again, And again. Before publishing, I try to ensure that I am making sense. That I am not hurting anybody. I control my impulsive-ness. I pay attention to what I am jotting down. I know my words can have far-reaching consequences. So I reflect. It helps. I feel good at the end of it. Life events prompt me to write and in this space of mine, I look back and I see the other person’s perspective. A view that had eluded me all the while. This task is not so easy. But with time, I have realized there is always a second side to the story. Today I weigh pros and cons. I think before I act. I think twice before buying. Recently, I bought a dress. I bought it after I couldn’t get it off my mind a week after seeing it. That is just a small picture. On the larger front, I have stopped being judgmental. I no longer jump to conclusions. Like I always did.

Everybody deserves a chance!