Wednesday, March 30, 2011

The Best Company

I am watching the India - Pakistan cricket match. Giving live updates to my friend in China. Ms. A is originally from Pakistan. A Pakistan supporter for today's match. I, on the other hand, am a die-hard India fan. Rivals on the field they are today. While Sehwag's fours made me jump with joy till now, his wicket right now has given her the reason to smile.  

Yet together we are watching the match. Discussing ball-by-ball update on Gtalk. Friends across borders we are! This is what I call interesting company for an interesting match :D

Monday, March 28, 2011

This one is for “You” :)

This is going to be my 100th post. A month short of one year. I would have procrastinated and waited for a while longer so that the two milestones would coincide. But the urge to write today is strong. Especially when I know there are “people” waiting to read. And there is so much too.

What a journey this has been! To start with, statistics to me have been a  constant source of instant happiness. 21 Followers. 5600 Pageviews as I write this one. Direct visitors from Slovakia and Toronto to my blog, Misters and Misses unknown you all are to me, have unknowingly motivated me to post often. More often. Not to mention the ‘returning’ visitors I know of, I love the way you guys return every few hours looking for more!  Your enthusiasm. Your interest. To know about me. My life. There couldn’t have been a better reward at the end of this, my one year journey in this virtual world. Nothing better that could I have asked for.

When I started of as a stranger in this blogosphere, I was oblivious of how far my wings could expand. 33 posts in 9 months to 67 posts in 3 months. Kind of explains how much it has! I started blogging for myself. To keep a check. This was going to be my first time. Apprehensive I was of losing interest or at least suspecting that it would waver mid-way, but for the first time in my life, I was not uninterested in the role I had assumed. Of a blogger. A narrator. I continued, and the blog today stands as a testimony. It has been a witness to the change in me. Carefully marking out each phase. It stands out tall as a reminder of my state of  mind at different points of time. Sometimes, unknowingly contributing to it too!

Over the one year, a lot of people have consciously or unconsciously found mention into my blog quite a few times. Consciously, I would have definitely avoided this one to save you the awkwardness of reading about yourself (I know how it feels, after all) but then that would not do justice to this blog, my grub-shup space and for the people who read this blog to sneak a peek in to my life. To find mention in this space of mine which I hold very closely to my heart, which I love calling “mine” (Yes! I do go to the the extent of annoying people reminding them it is “my” blog #possessiveme), you definitely must hold a very significant place in my life. An important one too. Happy to know that you do not really mind, I can take the “advantage” to discuss the person that is you.

Dear Readers, this blog has marked “our” journey together so far, which has been #epicwin. With you, I have discovered the true meaning of “I can be me, you can be you and together we can be us”. My conversation with you can stretch to endless hours yet at the same time, a moment of silence is not awkward. This has been the highlight of our relationship. You have been the reason why I could discuss the most irrelevant stuff with utmost seriousness while all the serious deliberations were turned into a joke. You, in ways more than one, have defined the journey to myself.

A thank you would never be sufficient. Nonetheless, that is all I can do for now. Thank you for your company at all times. “Sincerely” hoping that it continues to be so.

Loads of love,
Yours!

I thought I knew you till I read your blog

A blog speaks a lot about you. It is like a part of your self. It reflects you. Who you are. The kind of person. Your strengths and your weaknesses. I have never been good at reading a person. It has always proved to be be an upheaval task. Yet in this virtual world, I read so many blogs. Of known and unknown people. And I either get to know them a little more or a little less (?), with every post I read. Their imagination. Their fantasy. Their turmoils. Their "other" world.

Just like they surprise me with their posts, I surprise myself too. Going through my 98 posts so far, at points of time I fail to recognize myself. Those words do not seem to be my words. But sometime somewhere they must have occurred to me to find their way here. At times like these, I look at myself in the mirror and these words pour out- "I thought I knew you till I read your blog!"

Friday, March 25, 2011

Vice-Versa

Need a want? Or want a need?

A want is nice and friendly. It gives you a desire. Acts like the driving force. Gives you a reason to go for that extra bit. #whatilike

A need is the opposite. It is arrogant. It leaves you vulnerable and weak. #whatidontlike

Just a thought!

Thursday, March 24, 2011

He and She - 2.

In continuation to my earlier post: He and She. Click here.

...And they continued to live their separate lives. They never came face to face. Oblivious of each other. Till today. They were destined to meet. Again!

Testing times

There are times in life
You know what you want
Yet you hope that want remains

Just a want, not a need
Not your forte that space
Destruction you have already seen

Do not want to see it again
That which makes you go weak-kneed
Neither a nice nor a desirable feeling it is!

Yet for you, a weakness 
And now, it serves as a bait
A little bit of all that the want has to offer

Once bitten, twice shy syndrome, eh?

My cocoon

The trip to Dibrugarh brought back a lot of fond memories - of the times gone by. All of which I realized were carefully preserved yet seldom recalled. Busy in this rush called “life” I had failed to notice the pace at which the things had moved. This trip just did that – made me realise how time had flown, how we had all moved ahead in our lives for greener pastures while the old house, my cocoon, my favourite place in the world, as I call it has stood still in time watching it all. 
P3190107
I was born in Dibrugarh and here, I lived in my grandparents’ house for the first 2 years of my life before moving to Guwahati. That is my first memory of that place. Mostly captured in pictures though! The only clear memory that I have of then is maybe of Bruno, our dog and the lawns. Soon I moved to Guwahati and since then, Dibrugarh has always been my vacation spot. That time of the year I have always looked forward to, when all of us - cousins would meet. The house has been a witness to our laughter, our fights, our pranks, our gossip and what not! It has been like this huge tree we took shade under.

We would wake up “early” morning and our day would begin with tea and milk in the porch. Koka sitting in the big “sliding” chair and all of us sitting around him. There would always be a squabble for who would sit on the white-painted bamboo chairs and who would have to carry theirs from the office rooms. Mr. and Ms. Sparrows would visit us and we would share our biscuits with them. Butterflies swarmed the lawns where Aita’s flowers would be in full bloom. We could play. Roll on the ground. Do whatever we felt like. Once our milk was over. That was the pre-condition. If a few of us were here, a few of us would be in the backyard – the vegetable garden, the cow shed, the room for the hens and the not-very-big paddy field. All of this would go on, till one-by-one each of us would be summoned to have our bath and get ready for breakfast. Breakfast would be served in the long table and extra chairs would be put to accommodate us all. We would then rush to the house next door where our second cousins’ lived and if the ten of us weren’t enough, we would have three more for our company! Crazy times in their terrace or fishing/boating in the big pond behind our house in our rickety wooden boat, we were all over the place. Lunch and the afternoon nap to re-energise was then a regular affair. Evenings were similarly abuzz with activity and the time for conversations narrating our day’s incidents to whoever seemed even a little interested. And before our long day would come to an end, the planning for the next day would have already begun.

Those were some days. I truly miss!

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

#writersblock :|

There are again days when you write. Cut it. Write again. Backspace. Till you come up with that final thing that you have been trying for so long. I am having one of those days. There is so much I want to write about. So much to “vent”. A different kind of writer’s block this!

PS. My new love with the #tags ;)

Old is gold

Happenings of late have made me realise that no matter how hard I try to seem indifferent to the things around, I really am not. A few months back I had blogged about how I had mastered that art and how I was clueless whether it was all in the right direction. A few things here and a few things there have given me the answer to my question. I am not indifferent. I cannot be, no matter how hard I try. Little things do affect me. Still. 

Each time I have been bothered, I have looked around. I did again. And I am happy I have found the same people by my side. Then and now. :)

Thursday, March 17, 2011

A not so happy change

I just changed the name of my blog again. Thanks to SDS who pointed out last night that there is another blog with the exact same name! I woke up at 2 am to this new piece of information and the feeling to change the name has been there ever since.

*the positive side* A reminder yet again  that I am not the only one and there are people who do think on the same lines.  

*the not-so-good side* Alas! my spark of creativity was not to be. My bubble thus, burst.

Well, I am not too sure as to which side is winning. So I will keep this for later.

I like my blog to be "the" one. And I am sure every blogger out there does. Ms. P, the other blogger wouldn't be too happy too if she found out about mine. I am sure. I wasn't too keen about hers either. "A-musing" had given me new meanings, in more ways than one. I did not want to let it go, at least not so soon. 

At the same time, I wanted my blog to have a unique name, which set it apart from the rest. So half-heartedly, the search for a new name began. The person who led me to this new name was very kind to leave his "best-friends" and help me come up with a name for mine. We discussed quite a few interesting ones. And prompt too! A heart-felt thank you to you, when you read this :D. Had it not been for the typo in your text, this definitely wouldn't have struck me!

Of "Of my fort(e)s and weak-(k)ness". Well, it shall be my fort. Else's weak-knees. It shall be the story of my strengths and weaknesses. It will reflect the transition of my weaknesses into my strengths. My blog is my weakness. It shall continue to be. Above all, it shall be "my" own. And, weak-(k)ness (read "weak knees") after today has a very special meaning. It shall bear witness to that fact too! Like it holds all my secrets (with all the double meanings!), it shall hold this too.

Now, ain't I just getting better with every name. The next time you need help choosing one, I am sure you know where to look to?

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

MEMORIES OF KOKA

Our dearest Koka is no more, yet our memories remain. “Koka”, the very word brings to our mind the portrait of a quiet and serene figure in clean and white Kurta Pajamas, sitting in the porch lost in his thoughts or browsing through the newspaper.

Koka was a man of few words and sometimes it became very difficult for us to elicit a word out of him. But sometimes when he was in mood, he would let us have a glimpse of his eventful life, especially of his school and college days. Such occasions were rare and very special to us because usually when we pestered him to tell us stories, he would only say “Kailey Kom” (I’ll tell tomorrow), but “Kailey” would never come.

Koka was not one to display his affections openly, no hugs or kisses as such, but everytime we came to Dibrugarh, we could see his face light up with a smile and his one word “Ahila” (So you have come) reflected his immense love for us all. For us this meant a lot more than hugs or kisses.

Koka was always the first one to get up in the morning. Whenever we were in Dibrugarh, every morning we would be woken by Koka’s booming yet kind voice. He never allowed us to sleep late. He wanted us to make good use of our time.

Koka was a gourmet. Good food, fish in particular was his weakness. He also liked watching others enjoy food. Whenever we came to Dibrugarh he would have varieties of eatables bought.

To others Koka was a great politician, an astute lawyer. But to us, he was first and foremost “Koka” who always had time for us – to give us advice, to tell us rare stories. In fact, he was like a huge tree engulfing us in its shade.

All these sweet memories of yesterday, memories of the happier times which he had spent with us are now only a part of the past. Koka is no more. But we hope that wherever he is, he finds true peace and happiness, maybe more than this world offered to him.

DSC00095By:
Ankur, Nishita, Raktim, Rachita, Pallavi,
Rashmi, Raya, Bristi, Rohan, Gayatri.
(His grandchildren)

05/08/1998

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

So many reasons to make this day special

It is a big day for my friends, Prayashi and Risha, "the" two of my closest and my best-est friends. You guys are in Bombay to turn your dreams into reality. To sit for an interview that will decide your destiny. You have worked much and now is the time. All the best, my two loves. I know you can. I believe. I trust. 

Sheena, a sister more than friend in Pune and Aisha, who made the Mauritius stay all the worth, it's a special day as you guys turn a year older (and wiser, hopefully!) ;) Just kidding. You both belong to my list of "brilliant people". I love the kid in you. That's what makes you both so special in a world full of "mature" people. I love to share with you 'cause you care to listen. You are my bags of laughter. I love you both. Wish you a Happy Zappy Kick-ass Birthday!

Have the nicest day :D
All my love!

Moving on

I love mystery.
I love the unknown. 
I love the thrill of moving towards it. 

To discover. 
To know. 
Once done that, the inquisitiveness covered, 
The unknown known, it all ends. 

The interest wanes. 
There is calm again. 
The search for another territory begins. 
Another dream to chase. 
Life goes on.

I can see it happening again.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Things on my mind

In no particular order,

1. Exams. Exam time-table is out. It’s again a do or die situation. Tomorrow 7 o’clock I shall start studying “sincerely”.

2. Food. Momos for breakfast and lunch at “Red”. My ideal Sunday.

3. Travel. My tickets to Pune have just been booked. 5th of April. Bombay, here I come!

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Silver lining in the clouds

On an otherwise boring mundane Thursday afternoon, what beings me joy is the fact that my Indiblogger rank has gone up and my total pageviews is close to reaching the 5K mark.

:D

Being “me”

Being me isn’t easy. That is because I am different. I tell myself. But this difference is only relative. For I am sure in this big bad wide world, there are many people just like me. Many. A lot of them. With ideas. Thoughts. Likes. Dislikes. Similiar. But they aren't the people I spend my life with. The fact is that there is no such person in my world. The world I love in. My cocoon. The people I spend my life with, I am not like any of them. Yet when I come across them, who do not make me feel like the outsider in my own life, I know I am not an aberration.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Practising a virtue

My patience is being tested. But I shall still maintain my calm. I am counting forward. I am counting backwards. Patience is a virtue, they say. The key to success. I never know what this one’s worth!

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

*Touchwood*

This was supposed to be a surprise till I returned to Pune. But
...
"Congratulations, Miss Best Ops Nationally for the year 2010!! Proud of you girl :) :)"
"Hi Raya, congrats! you won the "Best Operations" for last year"
...
Lol!

Mr. A, disappointed, tells me, "Never told you cause we were planning to give you a surprise, with all the crowning ceremony and all".

A dream come true it is :D Yes! the MAD "crown" for Best VP Operations belongs to me. Affirms my faith that all the right things are happening this year and I am so loving it! 

Thanks guys! As for the surprise bit, it's the thought that counts. I will still act surprised, with the O-expression. 

=P

Love!

Monday, March 7, 2011

Finally I blog from home

The fact that I am blogging again means I am home. This side of the world. Where there is peace. Happiness. Bliss. It’s like some divine intervention in the otherwise busy hectic life we lead. It’s funny how while in Pune, I crave to blog and no net-access sometimes drives me crazy, at home where there is internet all the time, I am blogging after two full days of reaching. That’s how much I crave to share. To talk. For someone to listen. Here I have been busy so far with my “verbal onslaughts” and I have a wonderful audience. I have not spared anyone!

*doing the victory dance*

=P

Ego v. Attitude

What I perceive as my ego, you perceive it as my attitude. Neither is an excuse. The crux remains that negativity affects the way we think.