Two little Ducks

I sit down here to write my birthday post. My twenty-second birthday. A lot of people my age do not like to say it aloud. The number. The two little ducks. I do not either. I have always been the one excited about growing older. Till today. I remember how I wanted to turn 16, then 18 and then the big 21. There has always been the excitement of growing up. To show off your age. At such times I always wondered why some of my older cousins would not be excited as much about their birthdays as me. That feeling is now sinking in. It’s glorious till your 21st birthday. NOT thereafter. Twenties come with a lot of crucial times- in all respects. A whole array of hard decisions which decide the course of your life. 

Reading old posts is always fun. I thought of going through the post I had written a year back when I just turned twenty one. And. I realised how some things have changed since then. 

If I have to draw a comparison, this birthday I was NOT sleeping at twelve. I was on the phone with a person NOT least expected. I would NOT exactly term the day as “adventurous”. And. Before the clock struck midnight and the next day began, I was again talking to the same person! A few things that have changed maybe in my transition from the twenty-one to the twenty-two. Otherwise. It was pretty much the same. Lunch with friends and dinner with family #whatilove ! An ideal day it was. With the perfect start and an even perfect-er ending. :D

PS. Thank you for that lovely post. The pictures and the mail. Inspite of your tight schedule. Meant way too much!

Cheers to Life

[Sharing another beautiful text I received..]

I’ve seen castles made out of sand,
Met people who believe destiny is engraved,
on the palm of their hands.
I’ve seen people change their faith,
Experienced love change into hate.
I’ve seen people grow younger with age,
And a bird who wouldn’t fly out of an open cage.
I’ve seen love sold for money,
People who are devastated inside,
But outside they’re funny.
I’ve seen the unicorn fall in love with the toad,
People who owned half the city, have now hit the road.
I’ve learned to expect the unexpected,
Perfection doesn’t exist, we’re all defected.
Everyone cries, some just hide their tears,
They say coal turns diamond over a thousand years.
Someone may believe you’re one in a million,
For others, you are just another anybody in the billion.
So live life with all that you have
Cherish all your moments happy or sad,
Feel blessed with what you are
Because life is too short
And we are just here for a moment.

My One Year Old Baby

And I did not realize it, but my blog just turned One on the 21st of April :-)

What a journey it has been. So much has changed since then. Touchwood. All for the better. I am happy. You have been lucky for me, dear blog!

WhatsApp

My blog of late would seem incomplete without a post dedicated to this wonderful application, my lifeline, my addiction, the witness to my many “important” conversations, WhatsApp. For starters, WhatsApp is a cross-platform messaging service. This ain’t a technology blog and I ain’t a tech-expert. So for those interested you can check out http://www.whatsapp.com. In case you decide to download it, please add me. I am always looking forward to increasing my favourites list.

Moving on. So Basically. This post is more about WhatsApp and I.

I started my journey with WhatsApp sometime in December 2010. I do not exactly remember how and when I first heard about it and what exactly got to me to download it. Infact then, I did not have many contacts on my Favourites list either. Nonetheless I am glad that I did. After all. Little did I know about it then. It was soon to pave the way to a new and interesting phase in my life. Since then, March 2011, WhatsApp has become more of a way of life for me. A staple diet. Something I cannot imagine my day without. It has helped me get in touch with old friends and brought me closer to the newer ones. And now. From this moment on. It shall also remain the only hope. In my quest to ensure that out of sight does not really mean out of mind! ;)

In Truth and Otherwise ;)

In Truth. The world has seen. In Truth. I have gotten used to your company yet you never fail to surprise me. (Not that I am complaining!) In Truth. I love having you by my side. In Truth. #thesecretisout

Since 1995.

H and I have been friends for the past Sixteen years. One of my oldest and closest friends. My only friend who’s been with me through my Ten years of schooling in Holy Child, the One year at Maria’s and the final Two in APS. A lot has changed between us over the years. We’ve had our share of fights, months of not talking to each other, staying out of touch et al. But we’ve lived through each phase. Misunderstandings have cropped. People have rejoiced and laughed. But each time, our ties emerged stronger and sometimes, all it took was a sorry to make it up. Even today, the level of comfort we share with each other is rather surprising. Not a change. Despite the not-so-smooth journey that we’ve had through the years, we can still share all that we want. We may not talk often. But we know that whenever we have to, the other is always there to listen. To give the best advice.

Today we met after really long. The third time in three years. The first time in Guwahati since we moved out. And. We just took off from where we had left. Time has changed so much since then. We have changed. The face of our city has too. But sometimes you never grow out of your comfort zone. We met up at our old haunt CCD, remembered old times, caught up with the new, discussed people’s whereabouts, walked down to Bakers Treat which holds “funny” memories for the two of us. And it was like living it all again! For a moment it felt as if time had stood still. It was heartening to see how much we know about each other. Little things that another person would maybe take years to learn. Sixteen long years of friendship thus, just showed!

What Lies Ahead

End of a journey this
The start of another,
Thus, a new beginning
Time again promises;
Shows a new ray of hope
Flickering at a distance,
A dream to chase
An excuse to cheer,
Amidst all the sorrow phase
A need to brush aside all the fear,
Of the future unknown.
So far so good it has been
Faith in the destiny
I, therefore, hold
All for the times together.

En-route

Pune-Hyderabad-Calcutta-Guwahati. My exams are finally over and I am on my way home. Two months. Of Family. Friends. Fun. Food. Travel. Sleep. Idleness. This 15-day short stint in Pune has been one of the most memorable so far. For a lot many reasons. Times that’ll remain etched in my memory forever. To cherish. Times that promise a new beginning. Of things brighter and happier. All of which comes down to the one. That constant factor from the time I arrived at Pune till the time I left today. More on all of that soon. :)

1230 hrs, 20/04/11

Calcutta Airport.

These Days

Yesterday I, thanks to my silliness, hurt my toe. Caught in rusted chains, it bled. Forced I was thus to get an injection. I did. The first one since the time I can remember.

Today was another day. Of preparations. Of RedBull. Of anxiety. A long night still ahead. It's not yet over!

Tomorrow is the day. The Sixth Semester exams begin. Three years down and done. At the end of this, I will be a graduate. Another small yet significant step in this journey of mine.

More excited or more nervous. I am still unsure. Maybe it's time to get back to the last kill. The penultimate revision. See you on the other side!

It is.

It is not about not being told what to do
It is about deciding what to do
It is not about not being answerable to others
It is more about being answerable to yourself
It is not about living alone
It is just about staying alone

That thing called 'Being Independent'

To Judge or Not To Judge?

I just read this story. Thought it'd be a great idea to share. To remember. To keep in mind. A simple truth we all tend to forget. 

Once upon a time, there was a painter who had just completed his course. He took 3 days and painted a beautiful scenery. He wanted people's opinion about his caliber and painting skills. He put his creation at a busy street-crossing. And just down below, a board which read -"I have painted this piece. Since I'm new to this profession I might have committed some mistakes in my strokes, etc. Please put a cross wherever you see a mistake."

While he came back in the evening to collect his painting, he was completely shattered to see that the whole canvass was filled with Xs (crosses) and some people had even written their comments on the painting. Disheartened and broken completely, he ran to his master's place and burst into tears. This young artist was breathing heavily and the master heard him saying "I'm useless and if this is what I have learnt to paint I'm not worth becoming a painter. People have rejected me completely. I feel like dying"

The master smiled and suggested "My Son, I will prove that you are a great artist and have learnt flawless painting. Do as I say without questioning it. It WILL work." The young artist reluctantly agreed and two days later, early in the morning he presented a replica of his earlier painting to his master. Master took that gracefully and smiled.

"Come with me", the master said. They reached the same street-square early morning and displayed the same painting exactly at the same place. Now, master took out another board which read -"Gentlemen, I have painted this piece. Since I'm new to this profession I might have committed some mistakes in my strokes etc. I have put a box with colors and brushes just below. Please do a favor. If you see a mistake, kindly pick up the brush and correct it."

Master and disciple walked back home. They both visited the place the same evening. Young painter was surprised to see that there was actually not a single correction done so far. Next day again they visited and found that the painting remained untouched.

In fact, it is said that the painting was kept there for a month but no correction came in!

Moral of the story: 

It is easier to criticize, but difficult to improve! So do not get carried away or judge yourself by someone else’s criticism and feel depressed. JUDGE YOURSELF FOR YOU ARE YOUR BEST JUDGE.

In me. I have faith. I believe.

The Best Company

I am watching the India - Pakistan cricket match. Giving live updates to my friend in China. Ms. A is originally from Pakistan. A Pakistan supporter for today's match. I, on the other hand, am a die-hard India fan. Rivals on the field they are today. While Sehwag's fours made me jump with joy till now, his wicket right now has given her the reason to smile.  

Yet together we are watching the match. Discussing ball-by-ball update on Gtalk. Friends across borders we are! This is what I call interesting company for an interesting match :D

This one is for “You” :)

This is going to be my 100th post. A month short of one year. I would have procrastinated and waited for a while longer so that the two milestones would coincide. But the urge to write today is strong. Especially when I know there are “people” waiting to read. And there is so much too.

What a journey this has been! To start with, statistics to me have been a  constant source of instant happiness. 21 Followers. 5600 Pageviews as I write this one. Direct visitors from Slovakia and Toronto to my blog, Misters and Misses unknown you all are to me, have unknowingly motivated me to post often. More often. Not to mention the ‘returning’ visitors I know of, I love the way you guys return every few hours looking for more!  Your enthusiasm. Your interest. To know about me. My life. There couldn’t have been a better reward at the end of this, my one year journey in this virtual world. Nothing better that could I have asked for.

When I started of as a stranger in this blogosphere, I was oblivious of how far my wings could expand. 33 posts in 9 months to 67 posts in 3 months. Kind of explains how much it has! I started blogging for myself. To keep a check. This was going to be my first time. Apprehensive I was of losing interest or at least suspecting that it would waver mid-way, but for the first time in my life, I was not uninterested in the role I had assumed. Of a blogger. A narrator. I continued, and the blog today stands as a testimony. It has been a witness to the change in me. Carefully marking out each phase. It stands out tall as a reminder of my state of  mind at different points of time. Sometimes, unknowingly contributing to it too!

Over the one year, a lot of people have consciously or unconsciously found mention into my blog quite a few times. Consciously, I would have definitely avoided this one to save you the awkwardness of reading about yourself (I know how it feels, after all) but then that would not do justice to this blog, my grub-shup space and for the people who read this blog to sneak a peek in to my life. To find mention in this space of mine which I hold very closely to my heart, which I love calling “mine” (Yes! I do go to the the extent of annoying people reminding them it is “my” blog #possessiveme), you definitely must hold a very significant place in my life. An important one too. Happy to know that you do not really mind, I can take the “advantage” to discuss the person that is you.

Dear Readers, this blog has marked “our” journey together so far, which has been #epicwin. With you, I have discovered the true meaning of “I can be me, you can be you and together we can be us”. My conversation with you can stretch to endless hours yet at the same time, a moment of silence is not awkward. This has been the highlight of our relationship. You have been the reason why I could discuss the most irrelevant stuff with utmost seriousness while all the serious deliberations were turned into a joke. You, in ways more than one, have defined the journey to myself.

A thank you would never be sufficient. Nonetheless, that is all I can do for now. Thank you for your company at all times. “Sincerely” hoping that it continues to be so.

Loads of love,

Yours!

I thought I knew you till I read your blog

A blog speaks a lot about you. It is like a part of your self. It reflects you. Who you are. The kind of person. Your strengths and your weaknesses. I have never been good at reading a person. It has always proved to be be an upheaval task. Yet in this virtual world, I read so many blogs. Of known and unknown people. And I either get to know them a little more or a little less (?), with every post I read. Their imagination. Their fantasy. Their turmoils. Their "other" world.

Just like they surprise me with their posts, I surprise myself too. Going through my 98 posts so far, at points of time I fail to recognize myself. Those words do not seem to be my words. But sometime somewhere they must have occurred to me to find their way here. At times like these, I look at myself in the mirror and these words pour out- "I thought I knew you till I read your blog!"

Vice-Versa

Need a want? Or want a need?

A want is nice and friendly. It gives you a desire. Acts like the driving force. Gives you a reason to go for that extra bit. #whatilike

A need is the opposite. It is arrogant. It leaves you vulnerable and weak. #whatidontlike

Just a thought!

He and She - 2.

In continuation to my earlier post: He and She. Click here.

...And they continued to live their separate lives. They never came face to face. Oblivious of each other. Till today. They were destined to meet. Again!

Testing times

There are times in life

You know what you want

Yet you hope that want remains

Just a want, not a need

Not your forte that space

Destruction you have already seen

Do not want to see it again

That which makes you go weak-kneed

Neither a nice nor a desirable feeling it is!

Yet for you, a weakness 

And now, it serves as a bait

A little bit of all that the want has to offer

Once bitten, twice shy syndrome, eh?

My cocoon

The trip to Dibrugarh brought back a lot of fond memories - of the times gone by. All of which I realized were carefully preserved yet seldom recalled. Busy in this rush called “life” I had failed to notice the pace at which the things had moved. This trip just did that – made me realise how time had flown, how we had all moved ahead in our lives for greener pastures while the old house, my cocoon, my favourite place in the world, as I call it has stood still in time watching it all. 

I was born in Dibrugarh and here, I lived in my grandparents’ house for the first 2 years of my life before moving to Guwahati. That is my first memory of that place. Mostly captured in pictures though! The only clear memory that I have of then is maybe of Bruno, our dog and the lawns. Soon I moved to Guwahati and since then, Dibrugarh has always been my vacation spot. That time of the year I have always looked forward to, when all of us - cousins would meet. The house has been a witness to our laughter, our fights, our pranks, our gossip and what not! It has been like this huge tree we took shade under.

We would wake up “early” morning and our day would begin with tea and milk in the porch. Koka sitting in the big “sliding” chair and all of us sitting around him. There would always be a squabble for who would sit on the white-painted bamboo chairs and who would have to carry theirs from the office rooms. Mr. and Ms. Sparrows would visit us and we would share our biscuits with them. Butterflies swarmed the lawns where Aita’s flowers would be in full bloom. We could play. Roll on the ground. Do whatever we felt like. Once our milk was over. That was the pre-condition. If a few of us were here, a few of us would be in the backyard – the vegetable garden, the cow shed, the room for the hens and the not-very-big paddy field. All of this would go on, till one-by-one each of us would be summoned to have our bath and get ready for breakfast. Breakfast would be served in the long table and extra chairs would be put to accommodate us all. We would then rush to the house next door where our second cousins’ lived and if the ten of us weren’t enough, we would have three more for our company! Crazy times in their terrace or fishing/boating in the big pond behind our house in our rickety wooden boat, we were all over the place. Lunch and the afternoon nap to re-energise was then a regular affair. Evenings were similarly abuzz with activity and the time for conversations narrating our day’s incidents to whoever seemed even a little interested. And before our long day would come to an end, the planning for the next day would have already begun.

Those were some days. I truly miss!

#writersblock :|

There are again days when you write. Cut it. Write again. Backspace. Till you come up with that final thing that you have been trying for so long. I am having one of those days. There is so much I want to write about. So much to “vent”. A different kind of writer’s block this!

PS. My new love with the #tags ;)

Old is gold

Happenings of late have made me realise that no matter how hard I try to seem indifferent to the things around, I really am not. A few months back I had blogged about how I had mastered that art and how I was clueless whether it was all in the right direction. A few things here and a few things there have given me the answer to my question. I am not indifferent. I cannot be, no matter how hard I try. Little things do affect me. Still. 

Each time I have been bothered, I have looked around. I did again. And I am happy I have found the same people by my side. Then and now. :)

A not so happy change

I just changed the name of my blog again. Thanks to SDS who pointed out last night that there is another blog with the exact same name! I woke up at 2 am to this new piece of information and the feeling to change the name has been there ever since.

*the positive side* A reminder yet again  that I am not the only one and there are people who do think on the same lines.  

*the not-so-good side* Alas! my spark of creativity was not to be. My bubble thus, burst.

Well, I am not too sure as to which side is winning. So I will keep this for later.

I like my blog to be "the" one. And I am sure every blogger out there does. Ms. P, the other blogger wouldn't be too happy too if she found out about mine. I am sure. I wasn't too keen about hers either. "A-musing" had given me new meanings, in more ways than one. I did not want to let it go, at least not so soon. 

At the same time, I wanted my blog to have a unique name, which set it apart from the rest. So half-heartedly, the search for a new name began. The person who led me to this new name was very kind to leave his "best-friends" and help me come up with a name for mine. We discussed quite a few interesting ones. And prompt too! A heart-felt thank you to you, when you read this :D. Had it not been for the typo in your text, this definitely wouldn't have struck me!

Of "Of my fort(e)s and weak-(k)ness". Well, it shall be my fort. Else's weak-knees. It shall be the story of my strengths and weaknesses. It will reflect the transition of my weaknesses into my strengths. My blog is my weakness. It shall continue to be. Above all, it shall be "my" own. And, weak-(k)ness (read "weak knees") after today has a very special meaning. It shall bear witness to that fact too! Like it holds all my secrets (with all the double meanings!), it shall hold this too.

Now, ain't I just getting better with every name. The next time you need help choosing one, I am sure you know where to look to?

MEMORIES OF KOKA

Our dearest Koka is no more, yet our memories remain. “Koka”, the very word brings to our mind the portrait of a quiet and serene figure in clean and white Kurta Pajamas, sitting in the porch lost in his thoughts or browsing through the newspaper.

Koka was a man of few words and sometimes it became very difficult for us to elicit a word out of him. But sometimes when he was in mood, he would let us have a glimpse of his eventful life, especially of his school and college days. Such occasions were rare and very special to us because usually when we pestered him to tell us stories, he would only say “Kailey Kom” (I’ll tell tomorrow), but “Kailey” would never come.

Koka was not one to display his affections openly, no hugs or kisses as such, but everytime we came to Dibrugarh, we could see his face light up with a smile and his one word “Ahila” (So you have come) reflected his immense love for us all. For us this meant a lot more than hugs or kisses.

Koka was always the first one to get up in the morning. Whenever we were in Dibrugarh, every morning we would be woken by Koka’s booming yet kind voice. He never allowed us to sleep late. He wanted us to make good use of our time.

Koka was a gourmet. Good food, fish in particular was his weakness. He also liked watching others enjoy food. Whenever we came to Dibrugarh he would have varieties of eatables bought.

To others Koka was a great politician, an astute lawyer. But to us, he was first and foremost “Koka” who always had time for us – to give us advice, to tell us rare stories. In fact, he was like a huge tree engulfing us in its shade.

All these sweet memories of yesterday, memories of the happier times which he had spent with us are now only a part of the past. Koka is no more. But we hope that wherever he is, he finds true peace and happiness, maybe more than this world offered to him.

By:

Ankur, Nishita, Raktim, Rachita, Pallavi,

Rashmi, Raya, Bristi, Rohan, Gayatri.

(His grandchildren)

05/08/1998

So many reasons to make this day special

It is a big day for my friends, Prayashi and Risha, "the" two of my closest and my best-est friends. You guys are in Bombay to turn your dreams into reality. To sit for an interview that will decide your destiny. You have worked much and now is the time. All the best, my two loves. I know you can. I believe. I trust. 

Sheena, a sister more than friend in Pune and Aisha, who made the Mauritius stay all the worth, it's a special day as you guys turn a year older (and wiser, hopefully!) ;) Just kidding. You both belong to my list of "brilliant people". I love the kid in you. That's what makes you both so special in a world full of "mature" people. I love to share with you 'cause you care to listen. You are my bags of laughter. I love you both. Wish you a Happy Zappy Kick-ass Birthday!

Have the nicest day :D

All my love!

Moving on

I love mystery.

I love the unknown. 

I love the thrill of moving towards it. 

To discover. 

To know. 

Once done that, the inquisitiveness covered, 

The unknown known, it all ends. 

The interest wanes. 

There is calm again. 

The search for another territory begins. 

Another dream to chase. 

Life goes on.

I can see it happening again.

Things on my mind

In no particular order,

1. Exams. Exam time-table is out. It’s again a do or die situation. Tomorrow 7 o’clock I shall start studying “sincerely”.

2. Food. Momos for breakfast and lunch at “Red”. My ideal Sunday.

3. Travel. My tickets to Pune have just been booked. 5th of April. Bombay, here I come!

Silver lining in the clouds

On an otherwise boring mundane Thursday afternoon, what beings me joy is the fact that my Indiblogger rank has gone up and my total pageviews is close to reaching the 5K mark.

:D

Being “me”

Being me isn’t easy. That is because I am different. I tell myself. But this difference is only relative. For I am sure in this big bad wide world, there are many people just like me. Many. A lot of them. With ideas. Thoughts. Likes. Dislikes. Similiar. But they aren't the people I spend my life with. The fact is that there is no such person in my world. The world I love in. My cocoon. The people I spend my life with, I am not like any of them. Yet when I come across them, who do not make me feel like the outsider in my own life, I know I am not an aberration.

Practising a virtue

My patience is being tested. But I shall still maintain my calm. I am counting forward. I am counting backwards. Patience is a virtue, they say. The key to success. I never know what this one’s worth!

*Touchwood*

This was supposed to be a surprise till I returned to Pune. But

...

"Congratulations, Miss Best Ops Nationally for the year 2010!! Proud of you girl :) :)"

"Hi Raya, congrats! you won the "Best Operations" for last year"

...

Lol!

Mr. A, disappointed, tells me, "Never told you cause we were planning to give you a surprise, with all the crowning ceremony and all".

A dream come true it is :D Yes! the MAD "crown" for Best VP Operations belongs to me. Affirms my faith that all the right things are happening this year and I am so loving it! 

Thanks guys! As for the surprise bit, it's the thought that counts. I will still act surprised, with the O-expression. 

=P

Love!

Finally I blog from home

The fact that I am blogging again means I am home. This side of the world. Where there is peace. Happiness. Bliss. It’s like some divine intervention in the otherwise busy hectic life we lead. It’s funny how while in Pune, I crave to blog and no net-access sometimes drives me crazy, at home where there is internet all the time, I am blogging after two full days of reaching. That’s how much I crave to share. To talk. For someone to listen. Here I have been busy so far with my “verbal onslaughts” and I have a wonderful audience. I have not spared anyone!

*doing the victory dance*

=P

Ego v. Attitude

What I perceive as my ego, you perceive it as my attitude. Neither is an excuse. The crux remains that negativity affects the way we think.

Next time shall be from home

Finally, I am at the airport to go home. With a lot of memories this time. This semester has been a dream. Each month getting better than the other. Definitely my best semester in law school so far. The other day Mr. A sarcastically remarked, “Living your dream, eh?” I smiled. Did not reply. Now, I wish I had.

Back to the present, I am sitting at the airport. I reached like two hours early. Check-in was smooth. I had my second strawberry milkshake in six hours. The first one was better, thanks to the company. I do notice that a lot of mention has been made about the “company” in recent times. I agree with you mister that the company matters and am I glad to be in yours! Your sense of humour is so contagious that it has rubbed off on your number/network right now and it’s acting funny. Lol!

The atmosphere at the airport is always amazing. The kind of people you meet. Sometimes which progresses to conversations. Otherwise just a glimpse of different ways of life. That’s the best part of my journey always. I love the wait, thanks to what I get to see around. A panorama. Of unfolding of events. A continuously passing changing scene. Today, I have restrained myself from striking “random” conversations though the strong urge to do so. Well, did happen! In fact, I was almost about to join one when a friend called. By the time I hung up, those fellow-conversationalists were gone. They were a young group of professionals working in Pune on their way to Bangalore for a meeting. Looking around then, I saw  a young kid “the unaccompanied minor” being led by the ground-staff towards the boarding gate. It brought back to me memories of those summer vacations when mom and dad would pack me and my brother off to our grandparents place and Koka and Aita would be there at the airport to receive us. The privileged treatment- we were the first to enter and the first to leave the “aeroplane”. What a thrill! Something I looked forward to always. Makes me wonder haven’t I always loved attention! ;)

Boarding has just been announced and so, am off now. Thank you A-musing for keeping me busy! The next time I blog shall be from Guwahati. Home.

Till then,

All my love!

A-Musing

I just changed the name of my blog. For the third time. Why? Just like that. Like everything around deserves a change, my blog does to. Otherwise it gets too monotonous.

A-musing is an interesting name. While musing means contemplation and thought, my blog is a reflection of just that. Me. My mind. And then, yes it's amusing (read entertaining) for me to read what I have written after that moment has passed. I amuse/surprise myself. Double meaning. It is! I love both. So when this name struck me in my Family lecture today, I decided to rush back and effect the change.  

Hence, the original "Expressions" later know as "Scribbles" will henceforth be known as "A-musing". The name has changed but it will continue to remain the same. My space. My blog. My baby.

A happy day

It wasn’t the perfect start to the day but as they say, it all changes when you are in the right company. By the end of it, I can vouch for the fact that today was definitely one of the better days. Those happy carefree awesome days. Two souls. Laughing. The khula wala hassi. The joke upon one. Then the other. People joined and then left. The joy of small talks. Nonsensical ones. They failed to understand. It is so much easier. Where you do not think before saying anything. For you know you will not be judged. You aren’t scared. ROFLMAO. That is what I literally did! And like my favourite quote by Habib Bourguiba says, “Happy is the person who can laugh at himself for he never ceases to be amused.” Who can better explain it than the man who I think mastered it today! Not once, but thrice. It is always nice to be in the company of a happy person. Today was no exception!

A Warning!

Certain things irritate me beyond measure. And this, my friend, is one of those things. I am NOT a very nice person when I am cranky. So it is better for you and for me that you DO NOT rub me on the wrong side. Otherwise, beware! I will try my best to recover what I have lost and in case I don’t, then you better watch out.

Showers of blessings

On a bright hot sunny day, the feel of raindrops against your skin is a feeling divine. That's why when my friend told me it was raining, I came back from lunch and boy! was I sad that I missed it. But that was not to be. How could a Father see his child disappointed. The clouds soon enveloped the landscape and the drizzling began. Big heavy drops of rain.

The clouds soon enveloped...

I love the rain and the way it feels on my skin. I like to go out in the rain and just stand there and let the rain hit my face. That is what exactly I did today. The raindrops trickled down my forehead.  Ticklish, I wiped them off. I stood. Just me and the rain. The atmosphere was amazing. We spent the moment in silence. Only to be interrupted. By the pitter-patter of the raindrops.

I believe I am God's favourite child. The showers of blessings just made my day :D 

The Countdown

Another day. Another morning. When I shall drag myself to class. This ordeal shall now continue for only 4 more days till July next. Glad I am! The countdown begins.

The irony is I also want the time to stand still. I love the fun I am having. It all seems perfect. Too many nice people around. The innumerable plans. Days are falling short to execute 'em all. I wish each day was longer.

One of those time when it's hard deciding! But yes even more so, since both are equally tempting. I am falling prey to both

=P

True that...

BETTER TO WRITE FOR YOURSELF AND HAVE NO PUBLIC, THAN TO WRITE FOR THE PUBLIC AND HAVE NO SELF.

                                                                   - CYRIL CONNOLLY

I wish!

I’ve not wished in really long that I could hold back time. Right now, I really do!

My little Miss

I made a new friend today. Her name is Lakshmi. I do not know if I will see her again. But her innocence touched my heart. I was "big" for her. She was a little sceptical at first. But then I warmed up to her. We started talking. We spoke about her. Her dreams. Her friends. Her family. She did not have big dreams, she said. But her eyes gleamed. Twinkled with hope. I saw. She said she did not go to school. I asked her if she would come with me. I taught kids like her. I would teach her too. She looked at me and a little later, said no. She did not want to go to school. Her brother did. I tried to bribe her saying she’d meet more friends. Kids of her own age. She said she did not know have any friends. She did not know her age. She was smart. I realised. Her answers were quick. She ran to her mother. Came back and told me she was five years old. I was scared she might get bored and run away from me. So I clicked a picture. She shied. A little while later, her elder brother came and took her away.

I hope to meet her soon. Again.

My scrumptious lunch

Why I now need a good sleep ;)

Much love!

Home time again!

I will be home in 6 days. What can be better? :D

Take a chance

Another of those poems I started with but alas! which I never managed to finish. Now the moment has passed and it is impossible to go back in space to that time, that mood. A glaring reminder again of the transient nature of everything around.

ALONE

In the midst of a busy road I stand,
Yet not a friendly face to lend a helping hand,

My eyes wander through the crowd,
My silent tears never so loud,

Heads turned, unfriendly stares,

In my life, it was a moment so rare.

Used to attention, a hundred smiles,
Here no one cared to stop even for a while.

As I jot down these lines, it brings me back again to what I was telling my friend today. Time and tide wait for none. It will not, for me nor you. Everything is momentary. We are merely visitors passing by. At the end of our journey, there should be no disappointment. We shouldn’t regret about the things not done. Rather, cherish about the chances taken. The opportunities grabbed. I do not like the idea of “what if's …” in my life. Contemplation sucks. You cannot know what is in store for you. It is next to impossible. Therefore, take chances before it is too late for it is so much better than living in uncertainty, clueless whether it is to be or not to be!

If it has to happen, it will NOT happen unless you make it happen :)

It got me thinking

Yesterday, I sat with my friends for a good hour and a half after class. Outside the bank in the college campus. Our usual thinking spot. The mission. Each to make their respective bucket list. That was simple. At least it sounded so. It would be fun I thought. I would make a list of wild to-do’s and together, we would laugh over it. That was the idea. We would check out who has crazier ideas. In recent times, I’ve hardly looked back. Looked within. So this was going to be a great opportunity.

I had not even started when I faced a block. A kind of writers block. I was stuck at to-do no.1. I was stressed. I did not know what I wanted. What was that craving for? How would my life be more exciting? I had no answer. I kept telling myself I was happy. I was satisfied. In my mind, my inner voice echoed- Career wise, I knew what I wanted. My personal life was smooth too. I did not want anything more. I refused to jot down a list just for the heck of it. I wanted to achieve it too.

After a great ordeal and a lot of fighting within, I came up with 10 to-do’s on my list. Each set with a deadline. The most realistic bucket list ever. If that’s even called a bucket list(!) But then something happened. What happened was not planned. Something I would have never imagined on my list of things to do. It was sudden. It was sort of exciting. Though freaky at that point of time! I realised. Things turn out better when not planned. Not thought of. If I had that on my bucket list, it would be an achievement(?). A tick. But that would be it.

To add more meaning, an element of surprise is essential. That thus, got me thinking!

An advice

A few of my new-found friends will be leaving college in less than month. Needless to say, they go into bouts of sadness now and then. This is what I told one of them the other day.

"People who matter to you in the past automatically find their way into your present and future."

Therefore, relax. 

The Good-will theory

All my blog posts in recent times have been written in a hurry. That kind of explains why none of them have exceeded all but a few lines. A lot of things have kept me preoccupied of late. And am I glad that it’s all over now! A few days more to go home and I am excited like never before. This has been one hell of a semester otherwise but nothing can ever beat the “being home” feeling. Just 10 more days. :)

Looking back, in the past few months, things have turned out the way I would want them to be. I have come to believe it has something to do with the goodwill theory. As my mum used to say, your chances depends on people’s goodwill. That decides whether you cross the border between fate and luck. Fate takes you forward, but to a certain level. To cross and wander into that fort called luck, you need goodwill. 

Till now, I always stood on the border. I would barely cross it when I would trip and fall back. This time it was different. It had to be. I have people around me who wish for my good. Besides my ever-supporting family, I have friends. True ones. I have strangers who wish me luck and mean it. I have what-I-call positive vibrations. A positive energy strong enough to endure the negative vibes of the few others.

My mum’s theory, thus, proved. :)

That was not meant to be…

[A post for Three Word Wednesday after long!]

Dear Mr.

I tossed and turned in my bed last night. I blinked, hoping the image that had captured my imagination would disappear. I vividly remembered. This day, five years ago, we had promised each other to walk the journey of life together. That was not to be.

I’ve always been rebellious and stubborn. Unlike you, I’ve never been kind. A people’s person. We’ve had fights over a lot of things. Each that brought us closer. I thought we’d get over our fights always. That was not to be.

I know it had been a year since we last spoke yet you still managed to have that effect on me. My world came crashing down the day you called to say “I love her”. That occasion. Till then I had the shimmer of hope. That was not to be.

My love for you may not have been immense. I may not have done anything extraordinary. Neither I was perfect nor you, but my love for you was certainly true enough to be able to forgive you.

With all the love that was not meant to be,

Miss.

Written for Three Word Wednesday; 3ww: blink, kind, occasion

Want

It isn’t always about what is practical

Sometimes it’s more about what I want, what I dare to have

That’s the essence of what keeps me going!

Written for Three Word Wednesday; 3ww: dare, essence, practical

Self-obsession

I have found mention on many-a-blog in recent times. Yayyyyy!! :D :P

A Confession

I will make a confession today. I have been blogging for some time now. But being read by my family and friends, where my identity is revealed makes me a little conscious. I am scared of being judged. A wee bit unsure before every post I publish. Sceptical. So a few weeks back, I had started a new blog – www.thistimeitisforme.wordpress.com, where I was a just a stranger in this virtual world, penning down my personal diary, sharing all that I go through. The varied emotions I experience, how I deal with it and all that follows. So long that I’ve blogged, it’s been for someone or the other, at some level. This time it was just for me.  I didn’t intend to think twice before putting up a post. No one could see me. I could. It was a feeling, nothing short of awesomeness.

Unfamiliar with the ways of Wordpress, however, my settings weren’t secure enough and Mr. C stumbled upon my blog. I was surprised to see him added as a subscriber but I am so glad that it was him and no one else. He, being a regular user of Wordpress, knew the site better and advised me how I was shown as a visitor on all the blogs that I visited. Hence, I have now deleted that blog and decided to post all that I want HERE.

I do not care what people think. I agree it’s a little uncomfortable at times. But then, I tell myself- “I am me when I write. I have to accept myself as I am. Before people around me do.”

Speechless.

R1 : Where is Lucknow?
R2 : It is the capital of UP.
R1 : Yeah?
R2 (to me) : How ignorant can a law student be?
ME (thinks) : How ignorant an Indian can one be!

What made my day

1. "Stronger sides have weaker lawyers, weaker sides have stronger lawyers. It was proved again today."

- PK, J 

2. "Counsel, I commend your advocacy skills."

- SHAR, J and then, again by RRA, J 

3. "When I was in practice, I heard people argue like this. But since the time I have joined the academic profession, I have never heard such brilliant arguments."

-  Ms. A

The best compliments received in a long time. Made my day. Flattered I am :D 

Victory tastes sweet

To sum up the Lucknow trip :)

Photos of the day

  

The Day So Far

1. Wake up call by Vineet: "I am your escort. Would you like to have breakfast?"
2. Once I fall back to sleep again, Devansh calling: "I am your escort. Would your team-mates like to have breakfast?"
3. Finally the real escort arrives, the sixth and the final one hopefully, Arunima: "Youuuu all are my super seniorsssss! I will sit down now. I am tired." Sweet one.
4. Breakfast at CCD. An unexpected "secret" drink arrives at our table. We know who sent it anyway!
5. Registration. Parted with our baby, named Memo.
6. We finally meet lanky Vineet. Over excited hello by the fellow.
7. Lunch. Better. Rajma-Chawal.
8. On way to inaugration ceremony. Pyaar deewana hota hain, mastana hota hain greets us on the stairs. The CCD fellow and our so-many escorts sing.
9. Mr. Ram Jethmalani. Believe You Me.
10. Vineet calling: "I have come out for sometime. Should I get something from the city?"

What a stay this is turning out to be! 

Another day

For the first time in months, I have been rendered speechless. I wanted to avoid any conversation. Any. The fifth escort just called (!) :o

Goodmorning people :D

The Journey ends - 5.

When the engine finally arrived :)

The ending of a new beginning. One ends, another starts

Oh! and as I promised I did manage to get a pic of Mr. Army man before we got down. A journey. Of good company. Conversation. Tales. Amusement. Photos. Laugh. Knowledge. Food :D

My expression when I saw the escorts. :o Three guys, a Qualis with a blue light (!), louuuddddd music blaring, tinted glasses, rash driving, sudden stop at a restaurant, “madam photo lengi”  … I’m happy to be alive and blogging again!!

How can I miss the pic ‘they’ clicked after borrowing my camera. Wtf.
 
Now in the land of…… ;)

Will be back soon! Good Night.

The Journey – 4.

Engine failed. So we are stuck here and what better way to while away the time? =P

The Journey – 3.

Another day in the train!

When the sun rises outside.

We wake up inside. 

and the entertainment show begins! Finally, a pic of all the three occupants of Berth A1 (38, 39, 40), II AC together :D
Followed by a little work or atleast the effort :P

Till lunch arrives. Bon Appetit people :D

The Journey – 2.

I’ll see if I can get a pic of the uncle next to us. He has amazing stories to tell. I know quite a lot about him already, including how he got married ;). Affirms my belief of being a good conversationalist. I shall continue :)

The Journey begins - 1.

   
…and you can follow me in my journey through pictures :)

Glad to know you

Some people leave an imprint on your mind forever. I met two today. This post should have been up long time back. That Sunday at Barista. But I am glad it wasn't up then. So I can put it up now. Just before leaving. Thank you, CSD and SDS for all the help. Throughout. Without you both, we wouldn't be going tomorrow in one piece! You'll are just amazing. Not just good friends, good mentors too :)

Luck-NOW. Better be. I really need it!

Keep walking ;)

Do or Die.

I am a last-minute person. I cannot work till the moment arrives. No matter how hard I try. "Do or Die" situations bring out the best in me. 3 days to go till the 11th of February. Some time still left! I shall overcome. :D

I.

To me, I am what I think I am.

To you, I am what you think I am.

I remain the same, just the perception changes!

Dear “You”

Over the past few months, we have built a relationship, if I may so say.  Of a strange kind. A little weird. One without a name. You understand me without words being spoken. You know me; sometimes much more than the people around me do. My moods. My feelings. My views. You make me comfortable. I can express myself without being conscious. Not afraid that you’d judge me. I share with you all that I can never do with anyone else. Each word you say makes me happy in a really weird way.  You are the reason why I write.

This is for you, “all”. Each one of you. Thanks for reading my blog :)

Yours truly!

Promise

Today was the second time this year that I have been reminded by a friend that I haven’t blogged for a long time now. Apparently it leaves readers disappointed. I do not like being the reason. So I shall. more often. That’s a promise :)

As I sit down to write, there isn’t anything specific on my mind. To start off, I’d love to congratulate my friend, a new-found one (I definitely wish we had met earlier!) Mr. “Lion” Saksena for his victory. Yes! every day shall now be a party day. So many plans. All before this month ends! Another promise.

Promise. I just made a promise. Not one, but two. But aren’t promises meant to be broken? Haven’t we all at some point heard people say so? Many a time. Surprisingly today, this stirs a thought in me. I spoke to my mum some time back. A very normal conversation to start; on the events of the day, my routine…… and then, she very casually told me that I needed to open myself towards that feeling called love. I was taken aback. At the odd turn the conversation had taken all of a sudden.

I am self-centred. I agree. So do the people around. But my mom believes that it’s because I am bitter about my life. Not exactly true. Not what I’d like to believe. I am happy. I am sure. Honestly, I may not be a firm believer in love but neither am I a non-believer. I have seen happy couples. I know it is not just a fairy-tale. It exists. You just need to be lucky. Just as my mum said, “Love exists. Between me and papa.” Yes mamma, it does. It makes me feel so proud. All of it. “Your parents are the most romantic couple. We idolise them.” I have never been happier.


Promises are not always broken. When broken, it hurts. Love is a promise. You both have shown me how. Yes Ma. As always, you are right. I will keep my promises. All of them. I have learnt it from the two of you.

With all the love that I can never express in words :)

I am not the ONLY one

Most of the time, I read blogs written by people I don’t know. Many of these posts make me wonder if someone is spying on my life. It is but a ditto copy paste of my story, my thoughts, my sentiments.

Reading blogs of people with similar lives makes you feel better. You just realise you are not the only one! A comforting thought that is!

It is ME that I am searching for

A few lines I read somewhere...I found them beautiful. Let me know if you do too :)

I am a lonely path of broken dreams,

It is heaven that I am searching for.

All these stars seems dull to me,

It is the moon that I am searching for.

Happiness is so angry at me,

It is joy that I am searching for.

There is a crowd around me at all times,

It is a soul that I am searching for.

My life is like an endless road,

It is a destination that I am searching for.

Don't know what is it that I've lost,

Maybe it is me that I am searching for!

My idea of LIFE

…Colourful and bright!